APW Elementary

APW Elementary
Rebel Pride Starts Inside

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Day 40: 11/2/16 - E day: Writers Workshop Session 5 - The Lead, The Details, & Internal vs External Story

Good day 6th Graders,      
         Today is session #5 of our Writers Workshop. We will be working on our narrative essays, and exploring the difference between the internal and external story. We will also work on zooming in on the small details within our stories. Please make sure you have:
  • ELA Folder & Notebook
  • Red Folder & Agenda
                        Thank you
                       Mr. Trumble

Writing Workshop Session #5
  • W6.3 Write narratives using effective technique, relevant descriptive details, and a well-structured sequence of events.
  • W6.5 With guidance and support from peers & adults develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, and trying a new approach.

Part 1: Rehearsal
*Most writers don't just pick a story idea and then write the book; they get ready to write by rehearsing.

Partner 1: Tell the story that is your seed idea (DO NOT READ) I want to hear you using the same dramatic storytelling voice you use in the hallway, when something unbelievable has just happened to you and you bump into your best friend and tell them all about it.

Partner 2: Lean in and expect to get goose bumps! 

As you tell your stories, you start to figure out what you want to show about your characters and how you want to make your partner react to certain parts of the story......That is exactly why we might story-tell our story before we put it on paper or make revisions to a draft. 

Part 2: The Lead
With a partner share the leads that you have written for your narrative about a small moment in time.
Tips
  • Be super supportive
  • Help your partner notice where good work happened in their leads.
  • Help your partner pick the lead that you think works best for the story they just told you.
Part 3: Zooming in on the Small Details
Some people think of work, especially hard work, as a negative thing, but we don't have to be those people.

The best writers are not just born with incredible talent.  The people who become pros are people who figure out how to work at it.

"Genius is 1% talent and 99% hard work."
Albert Einstein

*Successful Learners see hard tasks as challenges...
...They see failures as opportunities to learn.

Now, I want to teach you how to deliberately zoom in on the small details that you want to see in your own writing.

Original writing:
 (Author has climbed a tree in a park even though her mother warned her not to)

"Don't look down, just keep climbing-you're almost to the top," Lydia urged. I swallowed and snuck one quick look down at her.

First attempt at zooming in on the small details:
Lydia was still standing at the bottom of the tree, holding my dark, blue sandals with one hand and shielding her eyes, with the other, as she looked up at me.

These are tiny details, but not something someone would notice who is stuck high up in a tree.

Second attempt at zooming in on the small details:
The tree swayed slightly, and I tightened my grasp on the trunk.  A rough piece of bark dug sharply into my forearm, but I didn't dare move.

"I think I need help getting down," I shouted, my voice high and tight.  I thought about my mother's clear warning to stay out of the trees that bordered the playground.  This must be why.

"Hold on, " Bobby called.  He circled slowly around the tree and then walked towards Lydia, talking to her in a low voice.  I couldn't hear him over the rustle of the tree's leaves.  Suddenly he grabbed Lydia's arm and pulled her away from the tree.  "Run!" Bobby commanded, and they made a dash for the gate.

Writers, the author here has really tried the technique of zooming in on the small details.  To do that the author really had to put herself back in the park and replay the scene in her head.

Your Action:
Look for places in your own narrative to practice this technique of zooming in on the small details of the moment. Make revisions to your original piece. You may write them in the margins or on another page of your ELA Notebook. 

Part 4: The Internal vs External Story
Think back to my Viper story. 
What was that story about? It was about a boy going on a roller coaster for the first time. It is a detailed description of the events of that specific moment in time. We call this the _________________ Story.

Now think deeper. What was that story REALLY about? It was about a young boy over coming their own fears & doubts, and conquering challenges. We call this the _________________ story. 

Now think about your own narrative. Have you included an INTERNAL story in your own personal narrative? What is the internal story in your narrative?

Your Action:
Find the internal story in your own narrative. If you have not include one, look for ways to include it. Be sure to look at the beginning, middle, and end for places to develop the internal story. 


Share: (If time)  To celebrate today’s achievements, you will share your draft with a small group.  When it’s your turn to read, don’t start until you have everyone’s eyes on you.  Make sure to read it like gold with lots of expression.  When it’s your turn to listen, try to lose yourself in the story you are about to hear.  Try to see and feel this powerful small moment just as the writer tells it. 

Homework: Finish your 4 paragraph essay comparing and contrasting the 2nd half of the movie with the 2nd half of the book. Be sure to give your homework a proper heading.

**You will be scored on this essay the same way you were assessed on your first essay, using the district writing rubric on a 1 - 4 point scale.
Expectations:
Introduction:
Introduce the reader to the topic of your essay. Be sure to include the title of the book/movie, some background information, and your thesis statement.
Body Paragraphs:
Include at least 2 body paragraphs. One that discusses the similarities & one that discusses the differences. Focus on the big ideas, and the most important information. 
Conclusion:
Finish with a conclusion. Be sure to leave the reader with your own reflection. Don't finish with - "Those are some of the similarities and differences..." or with "Know you know some of the similarities and differences..." DO NOT give me a "know you know" ending. Give me an ending that is reflective and leaves me with something to think about.

**See my example from the first half of the movie to help you. 

Freak the mighty is one of my favorite books but did you know that it was also made into a movie. Author Rodman Philbrick does a wonderful job telling the tale of two misfit boys who had no friends but found each other, and became mightier together than they ever could be when they were apart. Although I like them both, there are many similarities and many differences between the book and the movie.
One of the similarities that stands out to me is how the movie and the book both portray the main characters. In the book and the movie Max is portrayed as a big dummy who has no brain, while Kevin is portrayed as overly small but extremely intelligent. In the book Max begins the novel by saying, "I never had a brain until Freak came along, and that's the truth, the whole truth, the unvanquished truth, as Freak would say. In both the movie and the book, Max acts as the narrator telling the story, and giving us inside information about his thoughts and feelings as we get to know him. He lives with his Gram and Grim because his mom is dead and his dad's in jail. In a similar fashion the movie mirrors the book by having Kevin live with only his mother, and revealing that his father was a magician who disappeared when he found out his son had a disability. Additionally, just like the book Kevin has a disability where his insides organs grow but his body does not. He wears braces on his legs, has a curved back and uses crutches in both the movie and the novel.
While the general story unfolds in the movie the same way it does in the book there are many differences between the two. For example, the inciting incident in the movie is completely different than in the book. In the book Max and Kevin become friends when Max shows Kevin an act of kindness by getting his ornithopter out of a tree, but in the movie they become friends when Kevin gets assigned to Max as his tutor. In the movie Kevin has to pay Max to take him to the fireworks which starts their friendship down a path towards becoming freak the mighty, but in the book the boys friendship is developed more naturally as they go on quests and hang out at each other's houses. In the book Max and Kevin become Freak the Mighty on Fourth of July when the police officers rescue them from the pond and ask for their names. Kevin responds by telling the cops that they are freak the mighty. In the movie Max and Kevin don't become Freak the Mighty until after they rescue Loretta Lee's purse and are confronted with who their fathers are. It is at this point Kevin takes Max to a museum where they look at a bunch of armor and King Arthur's roundtable. Kevin then takes out a sword and performs a private knighting ceremony where he names them freak the mighty.
Whether you choose to watch the movie or read the book you will surely be delighted by Philbricks coming of age tale about friendship, but if you ask my opinion I would recommend the book. It provides the reader an opportunity to see much deeper into Max’s thoughts and feelings, and allows for a far richer experience.



RTI/AIS - E Day 11/2/16

Step 1 - Get together with your partner & pick up your article.
Step 2 - Read through your article and finish writing your inferences in the margin after each paragraph or two. You may write the same inference as your partner, or you can write different inferences. 
Step 3 - Underline the evidence from the text that supports your inference.
Step 4 - Look at the inferences you wrote about each section. At the end of your article write a global inference based on all your smaller inferences you already wrote. Please label it: "Global Inference:"
Step 5 - Complete the Quiz that goes with your article

*** I will come around to each group during the last 10 minutes and ask:
1. What is your article about?
2. What is your Global Inference? 
3. What is the evidence you used to make this global inference?

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