Day 41: 11/3/16 - A Day: Writers Workshop Session 6 - Using the Writing checklist to Edit & Revise

Good day 6th Graders,      

         Today is session #6 of our Writers Workshop. We will be working on our narrative essays, and using our writing checklists to help us write a strong narrative. Please make sure you have:

• ELA Folder & Notebook
• Red Folder & Agenda

                        Thank you

                       Mr. Trumble

Writing Workshop Session #6

• W6.3 Write narratives using effective technique, relevant descriptive details, and a well-structured sequence of events.
• W6.5 With guidance and support from peers & adults develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, and trying a new approach.

Part 1: The Writing Checklist

Now I want to teach you how helpful it is to pause at times and to reflect on the progress you've made as writers.  You can use a checklist to guide you as you look back on your writing and ask, "In what ways am I getting better?"  and "What is the next thing I can work on improving?"

Teach how to use the checklist

(Pass out the Narrative Writing Checklist)

The writing checklist gives you a comprehensive list of all the things you want to think about regarding your narratives. You should look closely at each part of the checklist and evaluate yourself and your writing. Remember...The best writers are not just born with incredible talent.  The people who become pros are people who figure out how to work at it.

"Genius is 1% talent and 99% hard work."

Albert Einstein

*Successful Learners see hard tasks as challenges...

...They see failures as opportunities to learn.

• Don't just say yes or no when using the checklist to assess your piece of writing. 
• Find specific places where you see you, the author doing what is on the checklist. 
• Jot down notes of what you see in the margin. 
• Write down notes about things you still need to do, or include.

Part 2: Revisit parts from session 5

What part of your narrative still needs work?

• Is it the Lead?
• Is it Zooming in on small details?
• Is it developing the Internal story?

The Lead

Pick a good lead that works for your narrative about a small moment in time.

Your choices:

• The Dialogue Lead
• The Small Detail Lead
• The Action Lead
• The Inner Thinking Lead

Zooming in on the Small Details

Original writing:
 (Author has climbed a tree in a park even though her mother warned her not to)

"Don't look down, just keep climbing-you're almost to the top," Lydia urged. I swallowed and snuck one quick look down at her.

First attempt at zooming in on the small details:
Lydia was still standing at the bottom of the tree, holding my dark, blue sandals with one hand and shielding her eyes, with the other, as she looked up at me.

These are tiny details, but not something someone would notice who is stuck high up in a tree.

Second attempt at zooming in on the small details:
The tree swayed slightly, and I tightened my grasp on the trunk.  A rough piece of bark dug sharply into my forearm, but I didn't dare move.

"I think I need help getting down," I shouted, my voice high and tight.  I thought about my mother's clear warning to stay out of the trees that bordered the playground.  This must be why.

"Hold on, " Bobby called.  He circled slowly around the tree and then walked towards Lydia, talking to her in a low voice.  I couldn't hear him over the rustle of the tree's leaves.  Suddenly he grabbed Lydia's arm and pulled her away from the tree.  "Run!" Bobby commanded, and they made a dash for the gate.

Writers, the author here has really tried the technique of zooming in on the small details.  To do that the author really had to put herself back in the park and replay the scene in her head.

Your Action:

Look for places in your own narrative to practice this technique of zooming in on the small details of the moment. Make revisions to your original piece. You may write them in the margins or on another page of your ELA Notebook. 

The Internal vs External Story
Think back to my Viper story. 
What was that story about? It was about a boy going on a roller coaster for the first time. It is a detailed description of the events of that specific moment in time. We call this the _________________ Story.

Now think deeper. What was that story REALLY about? It was about a young boy over coming their own fears & doubts, and conquering challenges. We call this the _________________ story. 

Now think about your own narrative. Have you included an INTERNAL story in your own personal narrative? What is the internal story in your narrative?

Your Action:
Find the internal story in your own narrative. If you have not include one, look for ways to include it. Be sure to look at the beginning, middle, and end for places to develop the internal story. 

Share: (If time)  To celebrate today’s achievements, you will share your draft with a small group.  When it’s your turn to read, don’t start until you have everyone’s eyes on you.  Make sure to read it like gold with lots of expression.  When it’s your turn to listen, try to lose yourself in the story you are about to hear.  Try to see and feel this powerful small moment just as the writer tells it. 

Homework: Finish your 4 paragraph essay comparing and contrasting the 2nd half of the movie with the 2nd half of the book. Be sure to give your homework a proper heading.

**You will be scored on this essay the same way you were assessed on your first essay, using the district writing rubric on a 1 - 4 point scale.

Expectations:

Introduction:

Introduce the reader to the topic of your essay. Be sure to include the title of the book/movie, some background information, and your thesis statement.

Body Paragraphs:

Include at least 2 body paragraphs. One that discusses the similarities & one that discusses the differences. Focus on the big ideas, and the most important information. 

Conclusion:

Finish with a conclusion. Be sure to leave the reader with your own reflection. Don't finish with - "Those are some of the similarities and differences..." or with "Know you know some of the similarities and differences..." DO NOT give me a "know you know" ending. Give me an ending that is reflective and leaves me with something to think about.

**See my example from the first half of the movie to help you. 

Freak the mighty is one of my favorite books but did you know that it was also made into a movie. Author Rodman Philbrick does a wonderful job telling the tale of two misfit boys who had no friends but found each other, and became mightier together than they ever could be when they were apart. Although I like them both, there are many similarities and many differences between the book and the movie.

One of the similarities that stands out to me is how the movie and the book both portray the main characters. In the book and the movie Max is portrayed as a big dummy who has no brain, while Kevin is portrayed as overly small but extremely intelligent. In the book Max begins the novel by saying, "I never had a brain until Freak came along, and that's the truth, the whole truth, the unvanquished truth, as Freak would say. In both the movie and the book, Max acts as the narrator telling the story, and giving us inside information about his thoughts and feelings as we get to know him. He lives with his Gram and Grim because his mom is dead and his dad's in jail. In a similar fashion the movie mirrors the book by having Kevin live with only his mother, and revealing that his father was a magician who disappeared when he found out his son had a disability. Additionally, just like the book Kevin has a disability where his insides organs grow but his body does not. He wears braces on his legs, has a curved back and uses crutches in both the movie and the novel.

While the general story unfolds in the movie the same way it does in the book there are many differences between the two. For example, the inciting incident in the movie is completely different than in the book. In the book Max and Kevin become friends when Max shows Kevin an act of kindness by getting his ornithopter out of a tree, but in the movie they become friends when Kevin gets assigned to Max as his tutor. In the movie Kevin has to pay Max to take him to the fireworks which starts their friendship down a path towards becoming freak the mighty, but in the book the boys friendship is developed more naturally as they go on quests and hang out at each other's houses. In the book Max and Kevin become Freak the Mighty on Fourth of July when the police officers rescue them from the pond and ask for their names. Kevin responds by telling the cops that they are freak the mighty. In the movie Max and Kevin don't become Freak the Mighty until after they rescue Loretta Lee's purse and are confronted with who their fathers are. It is at this point Kevin takes Max to a museum where they look at a bunch of armor and King Arthur's roundtable. Kevin then takes out a sword and performs a private knighting ceremony where he names them freak the mighty.

Whether you choose to watch the movie or read the book you will surely be delighted by Philbricks coming of age tale about friendship, but if you ask my opinion I would recommend the book. It provides the reader an opportunity to see much deeper into Max’s thoughts and feelings, and allows for a far richer experience.

RTI - A Day 11/3/16

Step 1 - Get together with your partner & pick up your article. Pick up a Fluency Checklist.

Step 2 - It's been several days since you read your article the first time. Reread through your article to get a basic understanding of what the article is about. Take turns reading. You may alternate paragraphs, or alternate sections. As your partner reads evaluate their reading using the fluency checklist. Share your evaluation after you are done.

Step 3 - Reread the article a 2nd time and write your inferences in the margin after each paragraph or two. You may write the same inference, or you can write different inferences. 

Step 4 - Underling the evidence from the text that supports your inference.

*** I will come around to each group during the last 10 minutes and ask:

1. What is your article about?

2. What is an inferences you made?

3. What evidence led you to make that inference?